I'm depressed. I'm worried about our fiances. The insurance not coming thru on dad's death. The disappointment and anger Don will have when we don't get that "free money". He's already been shopping for a new vehicle on-line. I worry about him and never about me. I work full-time to support him and our daughter while he doesn't even look for a job. For four years he has worked only 12 weeks part-time and that was only a few months ago. He was fired 2 months after our wedding and only had one job interview since then besides his 12 week tax job which I had to pay for him to do. Essentially, I paid for him to work and get out of the house and had to put our child in day-care--and pay for that too--because of it.  I barely make enough to get by, paying a mortgage, all our bills, not to mention diapers & all the things 2 dogs require. I'm sorry to admit that the dogs haven't been to the vet in years for their routine checks/shots. None of this bothers Don, yet I would rather suffer through then confront him one more time. There are days I'm able to enjoy our marriage some - its easier on days he's affectionate toward me - but those days are few and far between. I don't believe he's cheating. He's too lazy for that.
I'm just very stressed and worn out. I've been to several doctors who tell me I have chronic fatigue and nerve damage stemming from the seriousness of it. I can't find a solution. I won't give up my time with our daughter. As it is, I only get around 4 hours a day with her before her bedtime. Then I read or find other reasons to stay up--if I don't pass out in the recliner first. Sometimes I just want to die--but baby brings me back. I can't bear to think of being without her. I do often fantasize about running away with her though. Just literally packing the car, cleaning out the bank account and leaving a note behind. I've even researched area's across the country to live; that "dream" of mine is so real......