Thinking of my miscarriage, I wanted to chronicle some of the things I've written in honor of our angel.
January 21, 2009
This week, we thought we'd be welcoming you into the world. Instead, we sit here with empty arms, fulfilled hearts and open minds.
I'll always yearn to know you; to love you in person. Instead, I must be content to love you from afar and meet you in heaven. Our love for you will only grow stronger with each passing moment, and our happiest day will be meeting you in heaven.
In my heart, I believe you're a boy, but in my mind I know you're simply and purely one of God's most beautiful angels.
Mommy & Daddy will love and cherish you forever. Our sweet, sweet baby, we love you more than words can say.
Showing posts with label loss. Show all posts
Showing posts with label loss. Show all posts
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Sorry moms, but Mother's Day sucks
I’m not looking forward to Mother’s Day this year.
Last year, I remember going to Hidden Lake on Saturday to celebrate with mom. It was beautiful, sunny. The next day, Mother’s Day, I took a home pregnancy test and discovered I was finally pregnant after 5 months of trying! The next day that line was much darker and soon after all the symptoms kicked in. I was so happy to feel so gross!
Three days after our 1st anniversary in June, I found out we were loosing the baby. My body didn’t reject it (no wonder) so after 4 more weeks, I finally elected to have a D&C. Two weeks after that, my sister-in-law announced she was pregnant with #4. It was my husband’s birthday and my body still hadn’t healed when I heard the news. It took a total of 78 days to stop bleeding, 104 before I had a natural period and could start trying to conceive again. It hurts to know we're the same age - she's on #4 and I'm 0 for 2.
In January, the month I would have been due, I had another loss; a chemical pregnancy.
Mother’s Day is currently ruined for me. We’re the only couple without a child in both sides of the family… I don’t want to celebrate with others… I just want to mourn our loss and try to get out of bed and function again the next day.
Last year, I remember going to Hidden Lake on Saturday to celebrate with mom. It was beautiful, sunny. The next day, Mother’s Day, I took a home pregnancy test and discovered I was finally pregnant after 5 months of trying! The next day that line was much darker and soon after all the symptoms kicked in. I was so happy to feel so gross!
Three days after our 1st anniversary in June, I found out we were loosing the baby. My body didn’t reject it (no wonder) so after 4 more weeks, I finally elected to have a D&C. Two weeks after that, my sister-in-law announced she was pregnant with #4. It was my husband’s birthday and my body still hadn’t healed when I heard the news. It took a total of 78 days to stop bleeding, 104 before I had a natural period and could start trying to conceive again. It hurts to know we're the same age - she's on #4 and I'm 0 for 2.
In January, the month I would have been due, I had another loss; a chemical pregnancy.
Mother’s Day is currently ruined for me. We’re the only couple without a child in both sides of the family… I don’t want to celebrate with others… I just want to mourn our loss and try to get out of bed and function again the next day.
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