Struggles of Faith

Let me say that I came into Christianity on my own—after my own hardships with abuse, illness, poverty, and loss. My brother and I went thru a difficult childhood with divorce/abuse/step-parents/half-siblings/etc., and no spiritual path to lead us. He became atheist—I became Christian. We took two different perspectives on life, obviously.

What I found was that God comes to you in crisis. The hard part may be that it’s not “obvious” that He’s there with you. You have terrible hardships that make it hard to see the “light at the end of the tunnel” but there is one—do not fear. When it’s hard to see God, look at your beautiful children and the husband you love. Look at the beauty of nature and your beloved pets. I know it can be incredibly difficult—but He will reward you if you continue to seek Him thru this struggle. When I miscarried, I honestly felt hatred and abandonment from the Lord. It took a long time, but I eventually came back and realized that our loss actually brought me to a stronger faith. It took a lot of work and desire on my part—but it happened and while I still grieve for our baby, I trust the Lord will provide for me again. He will provide for anyone who struggles—but only if you continue to believe and trust in Him.

Recently, my uncle was diagnosed with aggressive cancer and in his weakened state, insisted on going to church on Sunday. My mother (I suspect she’s atheist but she claims to be “spiritual”) said to me, “Why would he do that? He’s sick!”
My reply, “Don’t you see—God is calling to him. That’s why these things happen.”
It may seem harsh to some, but my view is that when bad things happen, that’s the time to become closer to the Lord. That’s the real test of faith—to trust and love thru hardship.

A struggle of ours has been my fertility/health issues and my husband’s job loss (out of work since Aug ’07) and it can be really difficult to have so much pressure on my shoulders. If something happens to me, we’ll have zero income and we’re in the state with the highest unemployment rate—hope is in short supply. At times, I feel lower than low and angry and how my life has turned out. I have to force myself to find something positive to focus on, but it’s worked for me. I need to keep going for our family’s sake—I have no choice! The thing is; God gave us Free Will as a test. Our choices and decisions bring us to Him or away from Him. For me, I chose to come to Him and my life, despite the hardship, has become the best it’s ever been. I hope everyone who struggles with faith can come to the same conclusion one day… but give yourself time. No one ever said life was easy and you’re seeing that first hand.

God bless you and yours. I’ll be thinking and praying for you.