Our TTC Story

My story started 11 years ago when I was diagnosed with ovarian cancer at 19. Luckily, I only had surgery to remove a 15 lb. tumor - but I lost one ovary. Because of the risk of reaccurant cysts, I was put on BCP immediately, so I never knew if I was ovulating. We got married in '07 and I went of BCP 4 months after the wedding.

Though we TTC right away, I was charting and realized nearly 5 months passed before my period was "normal" again. At 7 months of trying, I talked to my OB who gave me a Rx for Clomid to start the next cycle. A few days later, I got a BFP. That pregnancy ended in a m/c at 13+w.

I had to have a D&C because my body was not rejecting the fetus. It literally took 78 days before the bleeding stopped. I tried pills to help remove the tissue, but I refused another D&C so I just had to deal with it. I was able to TTC again, 108 days after the D&C.

I had spotting while on BCP and it continued afterward, getting worse and worse, especially after the D&C. My doc was never concerned, so I did research of my own and tried self-medicating with B6 pills (I had side-effects). I got my next BFP only 3 months after we TTC again, but it ended at only 4w.

My doctor tested my ANA (auto-immune), Progesterone, and PTT levels (blood clot). I had an elevated ANA (Rheumatoid) and he put me on Baby Aspirin (81 mg) daily. He claimed the other levels were "normal".

I was fed up and refused to accept my spotting was for "no reason" so I bought progesterone cream from an Internet site. After two months of using that, baby aspirin, preseed (sperm-friendly lube), OPKs, and charting, I was pregnant again. This time, even with the progesterone I was spotting (red/pink) for nearly two weeks after the BFP.

My doctor wrote me a Rx for vaginal progesterone and it stopped immediately. I was taking 200 mg suppositories 2x a day till week 13.

The baby is doing well, dispite loosing the twin. My doctor still takes credit for the progesterone. "If I wouldn't have put you on it, that baby might not have been here right now."

Oh... but my self-medicating with the pro. cream didn't do anything, right? Sheesh!

Sorry moms, but Mother's Day sucks

I’m not looking forward to Mother’s Day this year.

Last year, I remember going to Hidden Lake on Saturday to celebrate with mom. It was beautiful, sunny. The next day, Mother’s Day, I took a home pregnancy test and discovered I was finally pregnant after 5 months of trying! The next day that line was much darker and soon after all the symptoms kicked in. I was so happy to feel so gross!

Three days after our 1st anniversary in June, I found out we were loosing the baby. My body didn’t reject it (no wonder) so after 4 more weeks, I finally elected to have a D&C. Two weeks after that, my sister-in-law announced she was pregnant with #4. It was my husband’s birthday and my body still hadn’t healed when I heard the news. It took a total of 78 days to stop bleeding, 104 before I had a natural period and could start trying to conceive again. It hurts to know we're the same age - she's on #4 and I'm 0 for 2.

In January, the month I would have been due, I had another loss; a chemical pregnancy.

Mother’s Day is currently ruined for me. We’re the only couple without a child in both sides of the family… I don’t want to celebrate with others… I just want to mourn our loss and try to get out of bed and function again the next day.